Believe It, Or Not

She continued walking in the light rain, with no direction in particular. The path seemed endless and dim, with mist coming here and there. She began to realize that the path might be truly endless, but she did not feel exhausted after walking for quite awhile. She did not even notice how long she had spent walking. So she stopped walking and slowly closed her eyes.

When she finally opened her eyes, a figure appeared before her. The figure seemed distorted, like a shadow forming a silhouette which mimicked her own. Realizing that she didn't feel any drops of water, she began noticing that the rain had stopped as well.

She waited for the figure to do something, but it stayed there still. Like a statue made of shadow. Growing impatient, she wondered why the figure was there. Until a chilling voice asked her, "where do you want this road leads you to?"

The voice sounded like it came from the figure. She figured that maybe this figure had a clue on what was about to happen to her. Without opening her mouth, she asked the figure the meaning of the question.

"You don't believe in heaven and hell, correct?" "Yes." "Then, where do you want to be?"

She pondered if she would actually gain what she wanted in this realm. It seemed too good to be true. But she felt the pull to convey what she believed to this mysterious shadow figure. So she did. "Very well," the figure responded and moved aside, revealing nothing in front of her. At that moment, the road where she stood appeared like the very end of the road with nothing in front of it. She knew that the road behind her existed, but she never wanted to look back. Nor did she want to go back. But then, a curiosity came over her.

"Wait," she frantically searched for the figure, which resided right next to her. "You would like to know something, do you?" At that, she realized that this figure might know everything. "I see you have realized something about me. And you are a curious soul after all," the figure stated.

Without her having to ask what made her curious, the scenery before them shifted. It was black and red. There were flames, and there were people screaming in pain. "These people believed in heaven and hell," the figure stated before the scenery shifted once more. "So are they," the figure stated. She gazed at the scenery before her, a very contrast to the previous one with people seemingly in content and the whole place was engulfed in warm light. "And then, there are these people who believed in something else," the figure state before the scenery changed once more. She saw blinding light which gradually dimmed down, revealing what seemed like personal resting places. An endless galaxy, a meadow in spring with freshly bloomed flowers, bed made of fluffy clouds, and more.

Suddenly, it all clicked. "It's all in the head," she whispered. "Yes. Some people believed in heaven and hell. Some people believed in seeing that one blinding light which served as the gateway for eternal peace. Some people believed that they would live in a body once more. And you? Your belief is quite rare, I suppose."

The scenery before them had returned to nothing. Now that she knew, she was ready to step into that blank space before her. She was satisfied enough with what she knew. She did not need to know how it was decided who went to hell and who went to heaven for those who believed in them. Because she believed that the decision was made fairly, unlike the place where she lived.

She turned her gaze to the figure once more, which seemed to wait for her to make the step. She felt the urge to thank the figure for revealing the information to her, so she did. Even if deep down, she felt like the figure might be able to feel her gratitude. Returning her gaze back to the nothingness, she stepped forward. And just like her surrounding, she became nothing. She finally disappeared; and soon, her physical existence would disappear as well in due time. It did not matter to her if she would be remembered or not, because she had truly disappeared into nothingness.

Goodbye

In the state I was in, nothing mattered. In the state I was in, time didn't matter. In the state I was in, nothing existed. In the state I was in, no one mattered. In the state I was in, no one existed. No one but me.

As if watching a movie in the theater, a rectangular shaped light flickered before me. Soon, I was watching my entire life. But instead of forward, it was moving backward.

I saw myself rushed backward on a hospital bed. I saw myself flipping the paged of my favorite book backward. I saw myself walking backward down the street, and all the vehicles & people were also moving backward. I saw myself returning the water into the glass from my mouth. I saw my younger self running backward along with my brother.

By then, I remembered something. When you saw flashes of your life rewinding, it meant that you were about to die.

The memory kept on playing even if I came to realize what was happening. I was not afraid. I fully understood that those who lived would eventually died. So I stayed there to watch all my rewinding memory until the very last end. I was calm, knowing that my life had come to an end. And when the film had come to an end, a white light blinded my sight.

When the intensity of the light decreased, I was lying in a closed wooden space. The wood seemed young as the color was light. It felt soft and comfortable. Then I noticed my attire. I was wearing a soft white dress which reached my knees. The dress, too, was comfortable.

I closed my eyes and let my smile blossomed, soaking in the atmosphere in the closed space. "Finally," I thought to myself before I felt another intense white light binding my sight.

It was dark and raining. I couldn't feel the rain at all even though I didn't have an umbrella. I was standing before a grave, my own grave. After awhile, I whispered softly, "Goodbye, my old self." I walked away without looking back.